Friday, July 18, 2008

Putting life on one single bet

When u embark on a “till-death-do-us-part” journey with the “so called” right one, you are taking a big risk, as though putting your whole life on one single bet on the gambling table…

Do u feel so?

I think I do. And I surely went into marriage thinking & hoping that this is it and he will be the right person for the rest of my life, till death do us part.

My friend S is not as lucky. She’s married for 5 years or so, now with 2 kids, and she’s filing for divorce. I felt sad for her and I’m trying every single effort to help her whenever & wherever I can.

I’ve seen her effort trying to patch the relationship with her hubby by repeatedly giving him chances to change or improve. They have also gone through the Christian counseling sessions with the pastor…but he doesn’t seem to realize and acknowledge the problem and so not putting any effort to improve it. So S decided to put a stop to the relationship and now filing for divorce.

From what I know about S and her husband, they are loving couple, doing well in terms of their careers too. More so with the 2 kids around, I always thought S has a perfect happy family! Until I heard about her problems recently, that her husband was actually getting more & more violent towards the family, being very suspicious too, her life has turned miserable.

Without much choice, now S is divorcing her husband. She now has to stay with the 2 young kids and a maid. Husband will come to pick up the kids every Friday evening and send them back on Sat to spend some time with them, if he wants to.

See…S is only in her early thirties, to spend rest of her life without a husband & with 2 young kids is not gonna be easy. But when she married the husband after some 2 years of dating, she didn’t realize there’s such problem. Few years down the road after marriage & after given birth to 2 babies, everything seems to have changed….

That’s what I meant by saying putting whole life on one single bet on the gambling table when we decided to marry someone…because few years down the road, if anything bad happens like S, where there are already 2 kids around, it’s highly unlikely that she will go for another marriage….

5 comments:

zewt said...

who is this S lah?

Dio Brando said...

Life is a gamble, total agree with you. It whether you pick the right cards and win or u lose...

But since ur friend has already decide to divorce then the only thing to do is carry on with her life, forget the past but look towards the future.

cbenc12 said...

i think in our culture we are less likely to remarry again when we arelady have kids. but in oversea, it is a norm.
and u r right, how do we ever know how the spouse will turn out to be after the marriage and kids.
hope she will find happiness after the divorce and maybe find someone else..

Daphne Ling said...

Hey Sharlydia,

You're scaring me lar wei...I think I am not suited for marriage...=(

How's Ms Junior coming along? Got names yet?

sharlydia said...

zewt - she's a good friend of mine from the workplace...

dio - yeah u'r right, but u know...it's always easier said than done...

cbenc12 - it's not easy, unless she bumps into a man who really really loves her & wont mind taking care of her kids too in the future...

daphne - that's the fact of life! but ofcoz we've also seen plenty of couples who really live happily till their old age, so that's y it's a gamble!

Ms junior is going great, as active as ever! More or less decided on her name too...